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My Take on Christmas

Christmas is one of those seasons where it conjures up so many different feelings within people. Some people absolutely love it and can’t remember it being anything but amazing. Others really hate pretty much everything about it. Feel it has become about presents and lost its meaning as a celebratory day about Jesus being born. For many it reminds them of loved ones they have lost and for even more it can highlight family feuds because that chair around the table is empty.

For me it is a little bit of all of these factors if I am honest. I come from a very unconventional family setting and Christmas for years has been the hardest time of year. I have great, amazing memories blended with an awful lot of heavy, sad moments. I don’t exactly get that personal present from parents or a partner that I have been hinting I want. I don’t get to sit with my mum and share it with her, my dad or family I grew up with for that matter. When we gather around the table I always have had a slight ping in my heart as I am the odd one out. For years I have celebrated it, smiling and truly having happy moments but as soon as my head hits that pillow I have cried my eyes out! I have felt such sadness I genuinely thought my heart was going to explode. Always wishing deep down that the new year would make up for it!
However this year was different. I still was the odd one out, I still couldn’t celebrate it with my mother, father, family I grew up with or the lady that had the biggest influence on my life, and selfishly I still didn’t get that “personal present” but what I got this year was as corny as it comes! I got peace and acceptance over it all. I finally saw Christmas for what it is.

It isn’t actually about a tick list. It isn’t about standardised ideas such as eating, drinking, present swapping, going to church and celebrating Jesus! I know I probably am upsetting an awful lot of people saying this but I fully appreciate that Christmas was originally about the birth of Jesus Christ (hence the whole Christmas) however people change, so do the times. I truly believe Christmas is a season to truly appreciate what you have. So what, if you are the odd one out. There will always be a place that welcomes you and there will always be people willing to share their Christmas with you but the trick is, you have to accept it and you have to see that the fact people are willing to share this season is just as magical as having your own! That the empty chair at this season isn’t the worst thing as this time of year is an acceptable time to really celebrate their memory and if you want to get tipsy and toast to them so do it! This is the season where you can become selfish to really get or make people what you want to say thank you for everything they have done for you and if you aren't sure if Christianity is for you what a perfect time to actually go to church without the fear for people perhaps looking at you funny. I was raised as Christian as they come and I went to church Christmas morning and I didn't agree with half the things the pastor preached about, but I did agree with the fact that he said this is the season to party in your own way and celebrate. I believe there is a higher power but I am not willing to label it one god or another and therefore I thank the Christian religion for this time of year and for showing me how to be grateful for what I have. Yeah it isn't this standardised image of what the world labels Christmas or what the church would like me to uphold but I do thank them for this season. Equally I thank the Buddhist religion for a lesson I try and uphold which is that most the stress we have in our lives is determined by our own materialised need for more. Hence my reasoning for not being one or the other, but I am not going to be ignorant and forget that this special time of year would not be upheld if the church and Christianity wouldn't remind us that we are here on earth by one way or another. 

So thank you!

Hence I will continue to fully appreciate the next few weeks. I will appreciate that sometimes Christmas simply sucks but then it is up to me to see the hidden blessings within the season, stop and look around and actually see how incredibly lucky I am! I might not have what I deep down think it is I should have but I have something secretly even bigger! I have friends and “family” that open their arms heartfully and let me share Christmas with them! And you know what! I am accepting it and perhaps one day naturally that will become the norm for me! It’s all about the mindset at the end of the day!

So much love to everyone this Christmas and all the Christmases to come!! 

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