The Greatest Show

I discovered today that I have no problem making self discoveries about myself but I struggle keeping them. I couldn’t tell you how many times I have made a new years promise to cut out the ice cream and to only eat one rather than the whole package of yummy biscuits… Have I ever stuck to it for more then two hours… the answer would be no! I have the intentions of keeping to it but I find that I give in and then beat myself up about it. I then feel bad having not stuck to a promise I only made to myself and before I know it I am eating two tubs of ice cream to drown my sorrows….. It becomes a vicious circle.. and today I finally figured out a way out of it. Cut myself some slack. I started thinking about how there were things I would have liked to do differently. Things I wish I could have said, things I wish I could have done and so on and then I realized that when we are younger we get cut some slack. We are excused for making “mistakes” or as I would call them learning opportunities. We get shown how might be best to do it next time and we get forgiven as such and I realized that as adults for some reason we are meant to know it all. We are meant to have learnt it all along the way and when we make mistakes we think it is ok to beat yourself up about it. But surely the lessons simply change and surely get more complicated and harder as this time round you know you have responsibilities to learn from them and it was at this particular moment whilst walking on the beach that I decided to live to the rhythm of my heartbeat and re tune my brain and heart to not always do what society tells me to do but to live fully and honestly and learn from each lesson rather than beat myself up about it. Why should we all live exactly the same? Why do we all have to work 9-5, be married and have kids by a certain age, have the house and have the dog (or cat)? Surely we are all different and we learn each day…..? Surely we can see and learn things that can affect us at any stage of your life. When you go to a play you tend to go through all the emotions possible and that is a short story of people’s lives or fantasies so surely life is simply a ticket to the greatest show on earth….

You might be wondering what brought this dark moment into my blog dear family but it was the realization that I am not married and not got the perfect job any more. That I am getting broker each day but learning a new lesson each day. Learning more and more than I ever could have dreamt off. It is hard but so much fun! It is testing but so eye opening and what was meant to be a journey to help another family has turned out to be a journey that has helped me. J

Anyways back to the travels. So much has happened it is unreal. We have all been to a Saprissa and Olympia football match where we got the opportunity to sit in the main bit and Jonny and I got to meet the actual players and have our photo taken with them. One of them was the most humble person I have met and had the time to speak with me about the project. It really touched me that he didn’t have the arrogance of a “typical football player”. I have cried more this week then all last year as we left the project and the people were so kind and the whole neighborhood came and said goodbye! The old lady was so humble I just couldn’t stop!! If tears were diamonds I would be rich!! Jack and I got lost late at night in the jungle and I have never been so scared in my life but instead I couldn’t stop laughing!! We finally found a hotel on the edge of the boarder of Costa Rica and Niguraga and we were the only two people staying there and it was stunning. Jack surprised me with a Cigar for my wedding night and we smoked into the night this hand made Cigar done by a little old Cuban lady. We have been to a beach made out of sea shells and stayed at a girls house who did exactly what I did. Quite her job and came out here on a whim. She let us stay for free and we had an amazing pool! She was a little angel! I have learnt even more not to judge by first impressions as I have met people I thought were going to be really difficult and turned out to be FAB and vice versa!! I have surfed and danced more salsa… I am telling you I still suck! I think I could have a competition on the worst salsa dancer in the world and I would win!! But it is entertainment for others so I carry on as if my moves are the real thing! J I have had more iced coffees than is healthy and most of all learnt to honor how I feel and not be too polite to people that are actually rude. Yippie I have finally learnt how to not give too much time to rude people. (I did a little victory dance on the street when Jack pointed this out) He said to me. It is amazing to have seen how you have grown in the last 8 weeks! I asked him how and he said. You used to give everyone so much time even people that were so rude but now you are polite but cut the conversation and move on. I was so happy when he said this it was unreal! So with my like 90kgs rucksack on my back in the middle of the day walking on a road with no pavement I did a little dance and even got a hoot hoot from a banged up banger and I chose to believe it was because he was so impressed with my foot work rather than I was in his way walking on a road……

Oh and I lost my phone…. Oh well. Tomorrow I am heading to a national park and then after that heading to a National geographic location by boat so next time I blogg it will be slightly wilder with stories of sights and boat trips J

I miss you all and can’t wait to see you in about 3 weeks!! So much love

Pure Vida and Hasta Luego

Oddny Cara