Why is it that we believe what others tell us
about ourselves way and beyond what we believe about ourselves?
A couple of weeks ago I was judged by my
actions. Badly. I took it so incredibly to heart I cancelled plans and became a
slight little hermit. I didn´t want to talk about it because I thought OMG what
if this is how people view me. What if I am this awful person.
I then decided to talk about it and my friend
who listened intently smiled at me and she said “Oddny that is just one persons
oppinion” and it clicked withing me. I had become so low from all the external
and internal dramas of my life I was looking at myself through other peoples
tinted view! Since then I have really explored this. Why do we do it. I listen
to acquaintances and friends and it happens all around me. I see people upset,
happy, stressed all as a consequence of what other people have either said to
or about them, not said to or about them. We seem to live in this world more
obsessed about how we come across, look like, sound like or behave like in the
eyes of complete strangers, people we work with or simply meet for five
minutes. It amazes me that we all do it.
This was even highlighted to me last night
when I was walking in bright day light at 1am in the morning along Reykjavik's
harbour with my old school friend and I was explaining a desire I have but
unfortunately am to scared to do it as I know another person in my life might
cause havoc to people surrounding me. My friend said. “it is so sad that we as
people often don´t do what we want as we think of the consequences possibly
made by a different person...” she
is so right. We stop ourselves so many times as we contemplate what might
happen and how other people might react. Perhaps we do it from fright? Perhaps
we do it because we have from year dot been conditioned to think of others and
anything else is selfish..? Perhaps this way we always have an affiliate to
blame if it doesn´t go well... Who knows. I know I do it sometimes because I
haven´t got enough self belief within my own heart that I believe the doubters
as then I don´t need strength to hold my own head up, sometimes I do it because
I am so exhausted I simply find it easier to go along with it and sometimes I
am just too scared to look inside to see if they might be right but I hell as
sure know that I don´t want to live my life like this anymore. Yeah I am not
the same as you, or them. I am me. I am not perfect, nor am I imperfect. I am
just me. A girl/woman that works hard, takes the time out to learn and grow.
Will help where I can and truly do the best to others and each situation I am
in, and you know so what if some Tom dick or Harry judges me from their
standards? So what! They are entitled to it. Why should I always be able to
read others so that in case I don´t upset them? I never go out of my way to
hurt or upset people and if people are going to judge me that quickly or believe
the worst about me then actually not my problem. It is their issue at the end
of the day because they in my opinion are too narrow minded to try and see
where I or anybody else is coming from.
I want to enjoy each moment of this life and
truly learn to believe that when you take the time to re-wire your self doubts
and insecurity/sensitivity you can see criticism, judgement and remarks as
simply another persons viewpoint. Walk away from it and look at what was said
in calm, not over think it but purely evaluate it and see it as their opinion,
not take it personally and learn from it if there is a lesson within it.
Otherwise let it float away like a leaf would do in a river and I wish the same
for you!
Happy confidence day!
Odders
XX
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